googlevideos:

sex is a lot like a hot bath

once you get your balls in the worst part’s over and you can get your torso and arms and stuff in

i’ve never had sex

(Source: aidn)

unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

(Source: drinklust)

egberts:

*goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time*